Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
