People with herpes should wear stickers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
