dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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