I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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