it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
