OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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