Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wear drunk well.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
