No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
