I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
