I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I stole a fireplace last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
