haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
