I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
