Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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