ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
