but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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