Please, let me fuck your mom
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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