Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
