Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
