Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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