Someone shit on the floor
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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