my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
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