Me too!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
