fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
