How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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