whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
