if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
