just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
worst night to have a conscience
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
