i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
