yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
