I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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