Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
