It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
