For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
