it was like eating out sand paper
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Damn victory sex feels great
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
