:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
