I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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