when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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