I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
