But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
