I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
