they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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