the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
