i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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