In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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