You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
