My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
