walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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