i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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