But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
home. puking in laundry basket.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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