Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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