Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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