he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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