My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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