Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize