i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize