What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
