I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
