Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's like iHOP with fire
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Randomize