as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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