everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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