Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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(772): View more from Florida

bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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(573): View more from Missouri

This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.

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(607): View more from New York

Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My vibrator broke.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?

(303): View more from Colorado

Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.

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