You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
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